The girls’ party was a mix of emotions. First, there was a lot of excitement for the twins getting ready to move into high school. Then there was the concern about what that future might look like and how much longer Greg had. Katie tried her best to focus on the family that was over and the memories they were making together. In the back of her mind, there was always concern and grief over her husband’s health. Sure it had been a day of pure joy. Having Greg out of bed and able to join in the festivities and see the girls’ promotion was a complete blessing. That didn’t make up for the fact that his health was still failing.
Greg tried to hide his pain throughout the day but Katie knew he was doing his best to stay strong for everyone. It didn’t take away from the excitement of him being out of bed but she knew him. She knew the tiredness behind eyes that were usually filled with sparkle and light. But even in his pain, she still saw that peace, that glow that she couldn’t explain.
~
As dinner was coming to a close, Greg made his way upstairs and Katie couldn’t help but follow him to make sure he was okay.
“Greg, are you feeling alright?” Katie asked while rubbing his back.
“I’m tired, but then again I’d expect to be. Pancreatic cancer is no joke. I have fought this so much these past few months. I don’t want to leave you and the girls but when I got up this morning there was a warmth and a peace that came over me. Through the girl’s entire promotion ceremony, I had no pain. Just this feeling of calm inside my body. In the same respect, I know that God is calling me home. And it will be soon but I no longer feel the need to fight that because I know it’s what He wants for me.”
“How can you be so sure that God wants you to miss out on the life of your girls? I don’t understand a God that would do that?” Katie said with some anger bubbling to the surface.
Greg sat down on the oversized chair in their bedroom. The one that they got a year ago so Katie could have a quiet morning spot to read her bible. “I know your faith has been faltering since my diagnosis. I don’t even know the right words to say to you about it because all I know is that God’s ways are not our ways. I know is that God is real, He talked to me while I was sleeping. He revealed His plan for me that I would be free from this cancer and be healed. And not healed while on this earth, but healed before Him. He has plans for you and the girls as well, please trust that Katie. I need you to trust God.”
“I don’t know how to all the time. This morning I was able to praise Him but I feel like I can only do that when things are good. I know God wants me to trust him and turn to him during the challenges but I’m struggling with that. I hate to admit it but I’ve been angry with God. I know that’s not right, I know I need to believe He’s in control but some days I can’t.” A tear spilled over and as she went to wipe it away, Greg grabbed her hand.
“Don’t wipe away the tears, let them come. God doesn’t promise that we won’t be hurt and that we won’t have hard times. In fact, He tells us that we will have hard times and that He will be there, by our side through it all. Have faith my beautiful Katie. I know He can give you strength, don’t shut him out okay?”
“I’ll try not to, I promise I will.”
“That’s all God asks Katie. Faith the size of a mustard seed is all He needs to work in our lives.”
They stayed upstairs holding each other in silence for a long time. Greg took half a dose of his painkillers. He told Katie he didn’t want to be too groggy for the rest of the day. That they could head back downstairs once they started working.
~
The girls were trying to be patient so they could open their gifts. They could tell their dad needed some time to rest and didn’t mind having a few moments with family. Their grandparents were happy to soak up any time they could with the girls. They wanted them to feel as loved and supported as they could during such a difficult time.
It had been an hour since Katie and Greg went upstairs. Greg was finally feeling well enough to come back downstairs, though still very tired. He enjoyed watching the girls open their gifts from friends and family. With each gift, he said a prayer for each of his daughters. He asked for God’s protection on them as they grow up. He envisioned what their lives would look like. No doubt Brooklyn would end up doing anything she wanted. She had a kind and giving heart but also a strong will that would serve her well. Samantha was a little more fragile. Easy to get emotional but that would also serve her well as she’d have compassion for others.
~
After the last of the family had left, Greg was ready to give the girls his gift to them. The girls were busy showing each other their gifts and talking about each one and what it meant to them. “Girls, come over here and sit with your Dad a bit would you?” He asked, his voice feeling weak.
The girls were happy to oblige and both took a seat on either side of their Dad’s outstretched arms. They both soaked in the warmth and, took a mental note to remember this moment because they knew what was coming. They could both feel in their soul that this may be the last time they got to sit here like this with their Dad. While sad, there was a strange warmth and peace about it.
“Girls, I have a special gift I wanted to give you both. These lockets hold a bible verse that I selected for each one of you to turn to whenever you need God’s strength. On the other side, I put a picture of us together. I want you to know I will always be close to your heart, anytime you need me I will be there. This has been the most wonderful day. I’m so proud of my girls and who you are becoming. I know God has great plans for you and I can’t wait to see all that you do with them. I want you both to know I love you so very much. I’ll always be looking out for my two princesses.” Then he kissed them both and gave them a tight squeeze. He held onto them as long as he could before his body told him it was time to let go. “I’m gonna go upstairs now, I’m feeling pretty tired from this wonderful day. Thank you for praying for me so I could be here to share it with you.”
With that, Greg headed upstairs. He took his next dose of pain meds and got into bed. He laid there thanking and praising God before falling into a peaceful sleep.
~
The girls sat on the couch in silence for a long time. Both of them looked at their lockets and the picture their Dad had put in there for them.
“I don’t know what to say,” Brooklyn finally said. “Dad was so weak, and I know he’s still dying. There’s something about him that tells me it’s okay. That it’s his time.”
“Me too,” Brooklyn said quietly, a tear running down her cheek. “I’m going to remember this moment forever. I’m going to remember this day forever. But Brooklyn, how did he know we prayed for him?”
“I don’t know, maybe Mom told him?”
“Yeah, maybe.”
~
Katie went upstairs to check on Greg and saw him asleep. His chest rising and falling, but a little shallower than she’d seen before. She could see the exhaustion in his body and the toll the day had taken on him. Still, she wouldn’t have changed it for the world. He needed to be there for his girls and for them to have this one last memory with them. “God is good,” she whispered.
“All the time,” Greg whispered back.
Katie kissed Greg’s forehead and squeezed his hand. “I’ll be downstairs if you need anything, rest well my love.”
~
For the next 2 days, Greg woke up very little. The state had gotten Katie the help she needed to take care of Greg. He was barely able to get out of bed. It reminded her of how he was before the girls’ promotion ceremony. She was grateful for the help from the caregiver that came by each day to stay with him throughout the night. But even with the help, it was still hard to sleep and she felt she needed to be by his side.
The moments he was awake, he spoke of angels and people singing God’s praises. He talked about the beauty of heaven and at times, things she couldn’t understand. He seemed to know things, to see things that couldn’t be explained. The caregiver told her this may happen. She said that many people, who are near the end of their life, will see and experience extraordinary things.
~
“Get some rest, Ms. Katie,” the caregiver Bethany said. “I’ll be sure to let you know if there are any changes. You need to keep yourself healthy so you can be there for him and for your girls. I promise I’ll take good care of him.”
Katie took Bethany’s outstretched hand and squeezed it, “thank you.”
Katie always managed to get a peaceful night’s sleep, despite her concern over her husband’s rapidly declining health. She didn’t know if it was from exhaustion, or simply her want to turn off her racing thoughts. The caregiver also gave her such a sense of peace that she knew everything was going to be okay.
~
The next few days began to run together. The girls were done with school. Katie felt staying cooped up in the house wasn’t a good idea for the girls. She encouraged them to go hang out with their friends or even take a walk outside. But the girls insisted they wanted to spend time with their dad. They would sit in his room and read him stories. They’d talk about things that they were thinking of doing over the summer. Katie could hardly tell them not to, they needed this time with him. She knew it wouldn’t be long now.
~
The sun rose with the most beautiful orange sky as Katie sat next to Greg holding his hand. Unlike the previous mornings, where she was able to sleep and woke up after sunrise, this morning she felt a need to be there and watch it with Greg.
The caregiver had helped her, a few days ago, roll his hospital bed so that it looked out the window. They thought he may feel the warmth of the sun on his face and may be more at peace looking out the window should he wake. And this morning he did just that. With shallow breath, he looked at the sunrise, weakly squeezed his wife’s hand, and smiled. And, as the sun completely lit up the room, sighed and took his last breath. The sun entering the room was as if Greg’s soul itself had put it there. Casting light and insurmountable peace over his passing.
Katie sat for a long time holding his hand and telling him how much she loved him. She prayed and asked God to accept him with open arms. She kissed his cheek one last time and then made the long trip down the hallway to tell the girls.
~
Both of the girls were sitting on Brooklyn’s bed holding each other tight and crying. Katie rushed over to them and embraced them while they all cried together. “How did you know?” Katie asked the girls.
Gathering as much strength as she could to get the words out, Brooklyn spoke up, “He told us both in his dream. He told us it was time to go home and that everything was going to be alright. Then we both woke up, went to his room, and saw you praying and knew he was gone. And you know what mom?”
“What sweetheart?” Katie asked while stroking Brooklyn’s hair.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too. I love both of you very much.”
Questions To Consider:
What do you think gave Greg such peace about his circumstances?
How could Greg be so sick but still had the strength to attend his daughters’ promotion and party?
Do you believe Katie’s faith will be tested after her husband’s passing?
How might God work in helping us when a loved one has passed?
How can we be assured to have an eternal home in heaven with God?
Find God’s Promises Through His Word:
Psalm 18:2
Psalm 23
Matthew 5:4
John 6:40
Revelation 21:4
