When Fear Of Failure or Others Stop You
It’s been a long time since I came here to write. I’ve been tied up in a mess of thoughts about whether I have anything of significance to say. So basically, I tell myself I have no significance.
And in a sense, there’s some truth to that. I have no significance outside of the importance that God has for me and who God says I am. And I’ve been learning that we base so much of who we believe we are on external forces of people, things, status, jobs, spouses……
Why didn’t I write? Why don’t I record songs? Why don’t I “fill in the blank?”
Because we want the gratification that comes with knowing that someone will listen. I don’t simply write music for myself. I write it in the hope that the song resonates with someone else. I don’t just write stories or blogs for my own personal satisfaction, I do it hoping it’ll inspire or help someone else. And the feeling that it won’t be successful, according to my standards, has halted my interest in creating.
And I know I’m not alone in this. We all want to feel as if we have some sort of value in this world. And our human nature has us turn outwardly to others for that validation. But because we aren’t doing what’s in our hearts, we struggle. So we fight with doing and with not doing.
God Led Conversations
I recently had a wonderful opportunity to talk with an adult discipleship pastor that I work with who suggested a book. He didn’t know it was something I needed to read he simply mentioned it in passing.
“When People Are Big and God Is Small”. (Buy On Amazon)
I realized that many times I had things to say. Maybe even things God wanted me to say. But instead of writing the words, writing, and recording the song, and doing that next Podcast episode, I thought only about the success I wanted to come from it. Or about what other people would think. Or what other people might say. And really, I’ve done that my entire life.
Is God Really #1?
God has always been a part of my life; I can say He is the #1 person I go to or the #1 to fulfill my desires but that’s not true. Anytime we look outwardly for “needs” (more like desires) being met, we are putting God in place #2, or 3, or?
But getting back on track, how often do we stop moving forward with something because of outside influences or our need for outside validation? How many times do we hear the voices and thoughts that other people have placed, those labels that have stopped us from doing something meaningful? Or the worry that something will be said or that what we are doing won’t be popular enough? And when do we stop worrying so much about someone else’s faults telling us how to live our life, and focus instead on the life God (our #1) tells us how to live?
Does it mean we are free from making mistakes or making the wrong choice? Heck no, we are human. But to stop even trying because of the fear of others or the fear of our own failure is to deny gifts, deny desires that likely are things God wants for us or maybe even requires of us. He is the supplier of gifts. He is the one with the roadmap but we determine that roadmap based on outside influences and not God. Yet we say He’s the “most important” thing in our life.
Life should be about trust in God. Not about our success according to society. Yet society values money and success above pretty much everything else over God. There’s value in status, living “the American dream”, what kind of car you drive, how many friends you have, and your popularity. We learn that early on. And we strive for that. The acceptance and achieving of success and stuff. And it’s never enough. But God is enough and what he wants for us is enough.
I highly recommend you pick up this book. Especially if you are struggling with anything in your life where you have a need or requirement for outside influences of status, love, guidance, and acceptance of others and of society. If you are a God-loving and God-fearing person, it really makes you think differently about what and who is really most important. It may just get you unstuck in an area of your life where you’ve allowed society or outside influences to stop you from confidently being the unique person that God has called you to be.
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